Narth Ocasi and the Star Fork of Evil
by CortessaBlatt
Summary: What happens when I am extremely bored. Beware. I myself do not truly know what lies in the pages of this story.


**Narth Ocasi and the Star Fork of Evil**

_What happens when I am extremely bored. Beware. I myself do not truly know what lies in the pages of this story._

**Rated PG13 –** To be safe.

**Disclaimer: **Lucas Films can suck it.

**Narth Ocasi and the Star Fork of Evil**

Once upon a time Narth and his crew sat around in their new starship – the Ebony Pigeon. For now, they were on their way to the most desolate farming planet in the entire galaxy: Canada. No, really. It was something along the lines of Dan'stoomean, but Narth couldn't remember. Why would he, when he had two Jedi to remember everything for him?

Well anyway they landed, and the Jellies took Navel in. They wouldn't tell him anything. He felt kinda out of the fruit loops so he decided to whine about it. Navel told him that she and Bastardella shared a bond, but when he asked what kind of bond, she refused to say any more about it. When he asked Bastardella, she told him that the bond was NOT the reason she was pregnant.

And he stopped asking questions.

"We're on a quest to find the Star Fork," Bastardella told him.

"The what?"

"The STAR FORK," she said, sounding distressed. "You know."

"No."

Bastardella burst into tears and refused to say anything more to Narth. He decided it wasn't worth his time and went up to the bridge. Navel was waiting for him.

"Let's go here," she said, pointing to the map.

"Is that the Star Fork?"

"No. That's Tatooshack. It's a planet that has a map that will lead to the Star Fork."

"Couldn't we just look in the cupboard?"

"No, you idiot. We don't have cupboards on this ship."

"What the heck kind of ship is this?"

Navel shrugged.

They went to Tatooshack and ran for miles at a time. But because none of their costumes had pockets, they didn't bring water, and Navel died. But because the game is not realistic, she woke up and kept running. But because she died, the Snot People came to eat her bones. But because they're bad fighters, Narth and Missionary killed them all.

Then they saved the Jawbreakers, and went into the other part of the desert. And there was this guy and he was all, "Look at Harry Potter fight the dragon!"

And the dragon died.

And Harry Potter was like, "W00t."

The dragon must have been half a clam because Navel found a pearl in its throat. And in the back of the cave was a shiny star map. And Narth felt special for seeing it. But Bastardella wanted to make the worst of things and started whining around about emotions. THE HECK DID SHE GET EMOTIONAL OVER A MAP?

Well, when the got back on the ship, Narth accidentally read it upside-down, and they ended up on Cobraland, instead of Cowsick. They went to Cowsick and met an old guy named J-Lo. They saved the Eiwoks from their cuddly puppet-master, Chewbacca. He demanded their souls but they were like, "No."

They gave the Ebony Pigeon a new fur carpet.

Then they went back to Cobraland, and there was a purple lady waiting for them. Because the Smith Academy had the map she seeked… sook… sought. Yeah. Because the Smith Academy had the map she sought, she told the purple lady that Narth and Missionary were her slaves, and Narth liked the thought of that. He immediately picked up on calling her "Master" and sleeping at the foot of her bed.

Eventually the Headmaster of the school, Dumblethar, decided he liked Navel's butt enough to let her take the final test. And she was like, "I will kick your butt" and kicked his butt. And then she all beat up the purple lady, too. And found the map.

Then they went to Elmo's World. But then they all got the clap and left.

But on their way to Mulan, they got kidnapped by the EBIL Dr. Badbeard! He tortured them and made Narth cry. Narth knew Dr. Badbeard from high school, and wants revenge because Dr. Badbeard stole his Barbie doll.

So he was all, "Die."

And shot Dr. Badbeard.

But Dr. Badbeard was all, "Navel is actually Darth Navel and she is ebiller than me."

And Narth was like, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

And Navel was like, "WTF."

And then the EBILLER Dr. TooManyApprentices was all, "Hahaha, I win." And tried to whoop Navel's butt, but she totally creamed his sorry petoot. He ran away with Bastardella and made her have an abortion. She screamed n' stuff and was like, "I will never fall to the dark slide."

And he was all, "Pishaw. I own you."

And Narth was like, "We need to save Bastardella."

And Navel was like, "Okay."

And Narth was like, "I hate you and I love you, you dig?"

And Navel was like, "Yeah."

Then they went to Mulan. She gave them some huge coconuts and they went underwater to kill the natives without the guilt. There was a guy in a locker laughing his head off, so Navel killed him accidentally, but Narth loved her anyway. They blew up some machines and totally soothed the savage fishy. Then Navel got the final map, and was like, "PARTAY IN MY PANTS!"

Then they tried to go to the Star Fork, but they crash landed in Hawaii. And there were these guys, and they were all, "You shall not pass."

But Navel was like, "BITE ME, YOU FUGLY WHORES!" And ate them for breakfast.

And they're leader was like, "You're so hardcore."

So she was sent on this mission thing for them, and killed them, and then went inside this totally hawt temple. And she was all, kickin' butt and stuff, but then Bastardella showed up and she was all, "I'm on the dark slide, which is totally taller and prettier than YOUR slide. What are you gonna do about it?"

So Navel whooped her butt, too.

And Bastardella was like, "Moooommmmmy!" And ran away.

Navel fixed stuff, and went down, and Narth was all, "Wub."

And Missionary was like, "Ewwwwbuttsecks."

And her walking carpet friend was like, "Awesome."

And then they went to the Star Fork.

Ooooooooo. The Star Fork.

And Dr. TooManyApprentices was there, and he was like, "I'm afraid to face her so I'll try and kill her with my many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many apprentices. And stuff.

But Navel totally whooped THEIR SORRY BUTTS. And was like, "Dr. TooManyApprentices, it's time for your timeout."

And Dr. TooManyApprentices started crying, but got grounded, and committed suicide because he's so emo inside.

And Navel saved the day.

The End


End file.
